A good year
/Hello my loves,
As 2021 draws to a close, I’ve been indulging in a retrospective over all that’s passed between last December and this one. On a day-to-day basis it can sometimes feel hard to see the wood for the trees, but at this time of year, when I cast my mind back over all that’s been, I usually find an overarching feeling that characterises the sum of my experiences. When I look back on 2020 for example, it feels tumultuous, pointed and confusing. It feels like it was quite a hard year for me, full of big starts and big stops and big experiences that just kept coming. Given all that’s passed in 2021, I might be forgiven for expecting the same, but actually, I’ve discovered something surprising: for me, it’s been a good year. Despite everything that has and hasn’t happened, I can honestly say that the overarching emotion this year holds for me is contentment. I know that there’s so many people for whom this won’t be the case, and I don’t mean to diminish anyone’s experiences as we all try to find our way through a topsy-turvy pandemic world. There’ve been many points for me this year that haven’t been smooth sailing (but of course - it’s life), and not one of the big-ticket goals I’d hoped would come to fruition this year has eventuated. So forgive me for being just a little surprised that my 2021 look-back has actually left me feeling rather warm, calm and complete.
For me, the events of this year have led to some deep and powerful realisations about what happiness actually is for me. For all my goals and dreams and plans, this year I’ve realised that I don’t need any of them to make me happy. I’m happy now. The quiet, calm life of the past few months actually suits me rather well, and I’ll be consciously trying to keep that energy through whatever is coming next. That’s not to say I’ve thrown all my dreams and plans in a rumpled heap, in fact quite the opposite is true. There’s still so much that I’d like to build and create and enjoy, and I’ll be doing my very best to bring it all to life when the time is right. But you know what? I’m happy to wait for that time, rather than yearning for it. And if that time never comes, then that’s ok. As it turns out, I have everything I need right now, and I feel like that realisation has put me in a very powerful position. I don’t need to change a thing to find fulfilment. I have that every day. A simple, sweet rhythm is more than enough for me. Coffee, meditation, a walk around the garden to see what’s what. Work, then knitting, or tending to the garden, or a walk maybe, and of course, a little cooking. Gentle catch-ups with friends, long chats with my beloved, play-tussles with the cats, and a podcast or two to zone out. As it turns out, that’s all I need. I’m fairly certain it’s not all that the next few years will hold, and it looks like there’s some big changes coming for me in 2022 (more on those if and when they come to pass!). But this year I’ve realised that I don’t need to hang my hat on my future to make me happy. This good life is more than enough for me.
And so my loves: IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!! Glory, that came around fast! Tomorrow will see me ensconced in the garden, supping on special bubbles, and urging our small gathering to do justice to the ridiculous amount of food I’ve created. Wish them luck. I do hope that the last few days of the year hold some sweet slices of contentment and joy for you too. From my heart to yours, I wish you a very Merry Christmas 💛.
Love, Rachel xxx
