The simple things

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Hello my loves,

Yesterday I spent a glorious interlude in a local park, perched on a blanket with a beautiful friend, munching on tomatoes she’d grown in her garden, and plumbing the depths of the universe. Just her and me, the cool wind and the grass, with our blanket and our snacks, and a cute little drive-by from a curious kelpie. It was bliss. It’s such a simple thing, to lay down a rug in a park with a friend, but it’s one of the most precious. There’s nothing in the world that compares to the feeling of connecting with a kindred spirit, sharing your respective news, supporting each other as you both navigate life, and just generally relaxing into the afternoon, the rustling trees and the big sky. 
 
Chilled-out bliss can be pretty hard to come by at this time of year. As the cogs of December crank into gear for another year, everything seems to go into overdrive, and frankly, it can be a total tit. The demands of Christmas crowd up and clamour, lumping us with an extra set of obligations around house-bedecking, the annual angst of gift buying, and of course, The Family Christmas Celebration. It can be overwhelming, and for many of us, it’s not all that pleasant. 
 
While it might not be practical to shun the December dog-and-pony show entirely (and of course you may not want to – I know lots of people who adore Christmas), I do find it helpful to hold the things that bring me true fulfilment extra close to my heart at this time of year. Of course I’m talking about love, and about real connection to those who matter most to you. While I’ve certainly ridden the Yuletide rollercoaster in my time, in recent years, the celebrations of Christmas past have given way to a much simpler, and eminently more pleasant affair. 
 
First, let’s talk about gifts. The buying-for-the-sake-of-it that goes on at this time of year is horrifying. It’s stressful to be the buyer, and it’s stressful to be the receiver too. How often has someone bought you a well-intentioned gift that you know you’ll never use? They’re doing it because they love you, and you’re pretending to like it because you love them, but the dollars attached to that transaction are essentially wasted. Love doesn’t have to be about money. The most precious gifts I’ve ever received are cards. I have a whole collection of them, from dear friends who’ve taken the time to write one for me, telling me what’s special about our relationship, and about me. I actually have tears in my eyes as I’m writing this, just thinking about all the beauty that’s encapsulated in those card-folds. I have them all proudly displayed, and if I’m feeling down, I like to read them and remind myself of the way others see me, and how special I really am. You can never, ever go wrong by telling someone all the things you love about them. Nobody can ever have too much of that. Whether it’s in a card, in a text message, or in a conversation, that is a gift that will stay in their heart forever. That is a gift that keeps on giving. And it’s a gift that costs almost nothing at all. 
 
I’ve got lots of friends who are currently grappling with how to manage gift-giving with their children. I don’t have children, so I’m far from an expert in this, but it is a side-effect of the modern world that every single kid has, ahem, expectations around this time of year. That can be difficult navigate when you’re trying to feel into a celebration that’s more aligned with the values you want your family to really be about. Some friends are scaling things back a little in terms of the quantity of gifts each child gets, some are focussing on gifts that are practical, and giving what their children really need. That is after all what the Christmas gift used to be about – parents giving the annual new dress, the year’s pair of shoes, or perhaps a very special doll, toy or book to be treasured, played with for many years, or read and re-read in the months to come. I’m not going to pretend to have the answers on this, but I do know it’s a factor for a lot of people, and that it can only be a good thing to help your kids take a micro-step away from the disposable gifting that seems to have wound its tendrils everywhere. 
 
Tip-toeing through the emotional minefield of the family Christmas can also be incredibly draining. Families are complex beasts, and almost everyone I know deals with some element of discord at this time of year. Although you have full permission to not do anything you don’t want to do, sometimes it’s just not as easy as sticking your finger to the person who triggers you and sailing off to spend Christmas in a yurt. So please make sure you’re making time for yourself in December, time to rest and replenish, and be extra loving to the person who matters most (clue: that’s you). 

For me these days, Christmas is super-chilled. To be honest, it’s not something I pay much attention to – it just doesn’t really call to me. My last three December 25ths have seen me:

  • on a bus in Guatemala

  • camping by a rushing river with my beloved, and four very dear friends

  • munching on tamales and sipping champagne in our summer garden.

This Christmas we’ll be in the garden again, with a small clutch of wonderful people, summer produce filling the table, and chilled champagne in hand. I can’t wait. 
 
And so, here we go, head-long into our first December weekend. Thankfully, mine is looking just wonderful. I’m spending this afternoon baking a very special cake, for some very special people, who I’ll be spending a very joyful day with tomorrow. Sunday I’ll freestyle, doing whatever calls to me, and enjoying the glorious golden weather that’s gracing us right now. Until next week my loves  💛.


Love, Rachel xxx