Hello my loves,

There’s no denying it’s been a big year. Pretty much every single person on earth has had to navigate sweeping, unexpected changes to their lives. Plans have been put asunder everywhere, holidays left untaken, ideas put on hold, life events radically altered or postponed. The world is on pause, and none of us know how anything is going to play out. It’s tempting to think that the universe is against you, that this damn virus is stopping you doing all the things that you want and need to do to be happy. But what if it’s not? Let me give you an example from my own life.

Last September, we sold our house in Sydney’s Newtown. As luck would have it, the new owners didn’t want to move in right away, so we were able to rent it back from them while we searched for a new home. The last quarter of 2019 was somewhat overtaken by the closing of Hearth & Soul, and so our search began in earnest in February, when the real estate market came back online from its six week summer hiatus. And guess what? At the beginning of March, we found exactly what we were looking for. A gorgeous, beautifully preserved heritage home, just down the road, with a huge sunny backyard perfect for growing veges. Might I remind you that this is Sydney’s Inner West, where no one has a sunny backyard, and many people don’t have a backyard at all. It even had the original 19th Century brick hearth in the kitchen. And then there was the price. We could afford it. It all lined up, it felt so right, and we were very excited.

Now, let me give you a run down on how the Sydney housing market works. A house goes on the market, and four weeks later it goes to auction. Basically, you have four weeks to visit the house on Saturdays, get the contracts looked over, get your inspections done, blah blah blah. As I mentioned, the house went on the market at the beginning of March, meaning the auction was scheduled for the last weekend in March. Enter Covid.

Over the last two weeks in March, the open home circuit collapsed as restrictions were introduced and then tightened, and a few days before the auction, word came out that it would have to be done online. Agents were frantically trying to implement software to support this pretty much overnight - you can just imagine how well it was going to go.

Something else happened in the three days before the auction, too. A tiny but insistent voice started whispering inside me. On reflection, it was the same voice that whispered to me about the closing of Hearth. And here it was, back again. “Stay put," it whispered. “Your current home is where you need to be right now.” Now, let me tell you, I love our home. Really I do. It’s taught me so much, it’s the place where I rebirthed myself into the person I am now, and it’s where I create the delicious recipes that eventually end up feeding you all. But our house is old. Reeeeeal old. The kind of old that makes people look askance at it from the street, and occasionally causes visitors to question its structural integrity. It’s not like I wanted to leave, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to eventually living somewhere a little more intact. So that whispering voice wasn’t entirely welcome (just like it wasn’t at the end of last year either). “But I like the new house,” I argued with myself. “Look how pretty it is. Look how perfect. It’s got everything we wanted and it has a hearth! How could this not be the house?”

The auction was scheduled for a Saturday morning. At 4pm on Friday, the bank called. They had some news. Because of everything that was happening, they’d revised their view on our finance. They’d revised it down. Right down, in fact. To the point where we could actually not afford the house at all. We still attended the auction, which was the predictable shemozzle that an online auction in the first weekend of online auctions was always going to be (although the agent did an amazing job of holding it together). And we didn’t buy the house.

Now, this situation could have become a source of huge stress and discontent in our lives. We could have bemoaned the virus, and made ourselves believe that it had kept us from the house of our dreams, that we were trapped by it, that it was stopping us from getting to where we needed to be. But that's not what happened. I learned years ago that the universe knows more than I do, so it actually didn’t worry me too much, and part of me felt really relieved that the angels had been kind enough to take the decision out of our hands with that call from the bank. I know that if something is right for me, then it will come my way with ease, and if it doesn’t, then it’s not the right thing for me right now.

And so on we went with our lives, soup kitchening and writing and cooking and so on. The pandemic went on too, and in the space that it provided, a new direction started to emerge. Working from home: suddenly it’s a thing. What looks like a pretty permanent thing at my partner’s work, actually. That job that’s always tied us to the city? Maybe it doesn’t so much anymore. Maybe we could go a little further afield, find a small piece of land, have chickens and an orchard and some ducks? Lord knows we’d get more for our money than we would here in the city. Now, who knows whether this burgeoning rural dream will come to pass? The housing market is pretty much locked down, with very few people selling, so for now we’re staying put. It’s also hard to see for sure just how all this will play out long term for corporate workers like my partner. But it sure is fun to dream, to feel the spark of a previously-impossible wish start to ignite. Whether it’s now or in ten years, the rural dream is solidifying. Which it wouldn’t have if we’d bought that house.

I now return to the subject line if this email. The universe is friendly, and assists your every step. Every single thing that happens to you, whether it’s a pandemic, a break up, a lost job, or a postponed wedding, is there to help you. The experiences that cause you the most most discomfort are where the deepest learning lies. And sometimes, you’re being protected from what you think you want, so that you can move towards what will actually fulfil you. And so my darlings, next time you find yourself flailing against your own circumstances, I encourage you to take a step back. Make a cup of tea, curl up on the couch, and have a bit of a think. What is this situation teaching you? How could it actually be benefitting you? And my perennial favourite, what can you can be grateful for? Even if you can't come up with concrete answers for any of the above, I find it hugely helpful to hold these concepts in your heart, as you navigate life's inevitable challenges.

There's one more thing about the subject line of this email. I didn't write it. It's a quote, lifted from an incredibly empowering and affirming meditation that I do every morning, created by the divine Rebecca Dettman. It's short, just two minutes, and it's the perfect reset each morning, reminding me of the true nature of things before I begin my day. You can find it here.

And so my loves, we sail towards another weekend. After spending the last one away, toe-testing our rural dream, this weekend sees me at home. A little gardening, a little reading, a little walking and a few hot baths are on the agenda, and I can't think of anything more perfect. Until next week my loves 💛.

Love, Rachel xxx